(text-color:blue) [You wake up this morning looking forward to seeing the freshly fallen (cycling-link:"bright red","blazing orange","soft yellow") leaves scattered along the streets of your quaint neighborhood. The idea of a walk seems enticing, but your body is not what it used to be, and your joints creak and ache as your feet touch the cold hardwood. While you consider whether to take a walk, or rest a bit longer, your dog [[Button]] jumps up on the bed next to you. You decide it would be best to:]
[(text-color:#b5123e)[[Go on walk.]]]
(text-color:#a6117b)[[Stay home and get some rest. You can always walk Button later.]](text-color:#868a76)[You fostered animals for most of your life, and adopted the ones you couldn't watch leave. Button came to your home six years ago, two years after you retired from your job as the operation manager at an animal rescue center in your town.
Button is 9 years old and has white wiry fur with strands of grey mixed in. He has an underbite, and dark eyes that look slightly in opposite directions, as though he's looking through you.
He is what your coworkers called: "a waste of legs". as seen in the dip in the couch he's created from his favorite past time activity: doing jack-shit.] (text-color:#743494)[You put on Button's collar and leash. He trots around in circles in anticipation, just as he did when you first adopted him. You take him past the blooming garden outside of your front windows and down the driveway. There are sprinklers running in the yards around you, and the sun is shining with a slight breeze.
You make it about a block before a familiar face greets you. Your neighbor, Jenny, waves hello and makes her way over to you from her front lawn.
"Hey, you! How are you holding up?" she says.
You: *don't talk about it.*] [[Ending 1]]
You: [["We're getting by, you know..." ->Ending 1]](text-color:#743494) [*you trail off.*]
(text-color:#195c29) [You go about your morning routine as usual. When you leave the bathroom after brushing your teeth, you find Button laying on the (text-color:#805314)[soft, brown rug] by your front door. The look in his horizontally challenged eyes tells you that if [[Henry]] were here, he would kiss the rough fur on the top of his head and take him on that walk.
Instead you let him out to go potty, and then head back towards your bedroom. As you enter, you remember everything is as it was. A nostalgic, lonely feeling settles behind your ribs, like an old dog dragging itself in circles before it lays down. You pull back your patchwork quilt and climb into bed. Fractals of light dance on the wall as the sun shines through the (text-color:#26873e)[[windchime]] outside your window.]''(text-color: #8a0f13) [He's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not
He hasn't been for years.]''(text-color:navy) [Button wakes you from your mid-morning nap by burying a bone under your pillow next to your ear. His panting is loud and you're //tired// and you don't see a reason to get up.
You briefly consider (t8n-depart:"slide-left")+(t8n-arrive:"slide-left")+(t8n-time:0.7s)[[taking him out for that walk.->Go on walk.]], but instead feed him his lunch and watch your favorite cooking show [[in bed.]]](text-color:#fa3932) [There was a time when you and Henry walked to the farmer's market every morning. He held your hand as you picked out the ingredients for the meals you'd make with him throughout the day.]
(text-color:#fa3932 ) [Together, you two chose to move to a quiet, picturesque suburb in upstate New York after living in the city your whole lives. The time you had together, even when the house was full of (cycling-link:"barking","meowing","howling",) foster animals, was always the best part of every day.]
(text-color:#9e1e19)[Henry played swing music on the radio in the kitchen while you two made each meal together. He sang (t8n-time:0.7s)[[softly->dance]] while you thought of how it felt to dance with one another when you were younger.]
(text-color:#9e1e19) [Button licks your cheek, and you almost smile. You wish you had (t8n-depart:"instant")+(t8n-arrive:"instant")+(t8n-time:1.1s)[[taken him out->Go on walk.]], but it feels too late now. You don't feel the pain in your joints anymore. Just the wait of your quilt, and the empty sheets where Henry once laid.]](text-color:#eb94e2)[''The house is silent now. You decide to read in the living room. Button lays in your lap while you thumb through the pages of an old gardening book you don't absorb any of the words from. You try and you try to focus on the story in front of you and finally make out the words:'']
"Pruning your azaleas can result in plant (text-color:white)[[loss]] but, may lead to a more flourishing and vibrant garden all together."(text-color:#cc8a0e)[In a garden, the flowers continue to bloom, the soil turns over, the sun (text-color: #fffa6e)[shines] on the bright green leaves, even if a part of it dies.
In your house, the silence eats away at its foundation. As the past 2 years have come and gone, Henry's scent, his warmth, has left the house entirely. You feel his absence like an open wound, it paralyzes you.
In real life, loss pins you to the hardwood beneath your feet, the only thing that feels familar anymore. Loss takes everything from you until you can't even (t8n-depart:"blur")+(t8n-arrive:"blur")+(t8n-time:1.1s)[[walk your dog.->Good morning]]]''(text-color: #233991)[Jenny decides to walk with you and Button, and even runs with him in a field at the end of the block. It's been a while since you've seen him so active. You walk to Henry's favorite tree in the neighborhood park, and sit down at a bench on its side. Button sits at your feet, and Jenny rummages in her purse and pulls out a couple of small candies. She hands you one and you take it.
"It's the anniversary of Henry's death. I think..." You pause. "I think I've been stuck in a rut. We were married for almost 50 years. How do you move on from that?"
"But being out today has made me remember all that he loved. I forgot how peaceful it was to take our daily walks, and thought it would be easier to stay inside where the ghost of him still is." You say. ]
"It's not. It never has been. And I know Button is glad we decided to [[go on a walk.->Good morning]]"''